Happy, Happy Birthday!

6 years ago today, I woke up at 5:30am. It's strange to wake up with your heart beating out of your chest. I took a shower. I climbed in the car with Daddy. We were quiet. We were excited. I was scared. The air was thick and warm. I vividly remember exactly what the water looked like in the early morning fog with the tired lights shining on it. I remember seeing the crest of the sun and thinking about the promise of the day. We were on our way to meet Big for the first time.

He was born at 7:51 in the morning. I can hear him crying now. It's weird because every now and again, he still makes the same face he made when we first met. It's a rare glimpse but every so often, I'll see it. I shook when he left me. I was so cold. But holding him for the first time was the closest that I've ever been to heaven.

I love his birthday for so many reasons. It was a day of beginnings. So many beginnings. So many beginnings that I still haven't experienced yet. When he took his first breath, he breathed something new into me. He gave me a new life, a new role, a new name and one that I'm so thankful for.



I love you so much my beautiful Big. Happy, Happy Birthday!