Wednesday, June 3, 2009

A Demon

In speaking with my very wise and selfless cousin tonight, it was brought to my attention that one of my cousins recently got married. You can imagine my surprise in hearing that I would have known if only I would join the online networking/spying/big-brother watching site called Facebook. "Whatever," is what I say to that.

It is my theory that Facebook has compromised something for all of us in this world. It has turned meaningful conversation into a casual blip. It has re-kindled old love affairs that have wrecked new families. It has been a key to unlocking forgotten secrets that were never meant to be told. My family is very, very close. We always have been. This Facebook man is coming between us.

He is the fly in my soup. He is the piece of hair in the wet paint. He is the broken crayon. He is the power going out during the season finale of Lost. He is a scratch on your favorite cd.

I will beat you Facebook man. You will not win. I will not join you. I will flee and run. I will however, keep spying on you to watch over all the others who have joined you in an effort to make sure they are all safe. You are a demon Facebook man. A demon.