Way Too Fast

When I was pregnant with Lil', my Mom had a picture blown up of me with this poem on it:

These Last Few Hours

It is important to me that I spend a part of the next few hours
here alone with you in the darkness.


You and I will never be this close again.
By morning you will be a tiny person all your own.


No longer the kicking, demanding bulge in my body
that I have grown to love so well.


I pray God will safely guide you on your Journey
and, I ask him for strength to help you all I can.


Again, you signal your impatience to be free.

Time to wake your Daddy!

Now here's the thing. I had c-sections with both of you so I knew pretty much exactly when you were coming into the world. So this poem really sits with me because with all the happiness and excitement about you being born there was a sense of sadness knowing that you would be leaving me and becoming a person all on your own. I would have to share you after having you all to myself for 10 months. (Don't let anybody ever try and trick you into thinking a pregnancy lasts 9 months!) And that made me sad because from the time I knew about you, in my eyes you were already growing up too fast.

You've being growing up too fast your whole life and no matter how much I beg you, you don't listen and you keep on going. You're big. You're strong. You have opinions, wants, goals. You're no longer the little twisting bundle in my belly.

There is a part of this poem that is still and will always remain the most poignant for me: "I pray God will safely guide you on your Journey and, I ask him for strength to help you all I can." I know there's nothing I can do to make you stay small. You've already proven that. But please know this. I have prayed for your journey since before you took your first breath. I pray for your journey every day and I know that I always will. You are my babies. My wonderful little creatures. My little bundles that are growing up way too fast.