I'm On My Way

To my children,

When you grow up, please take time for yourself.

Please find yourself in the time you take.

Please take yourself away from yourself during that time.

Your Mama does.

Sit tight boys, I'm on my way.

House of Cards

I've always considered myself to be a pretty good big sister. I've been a decent sibling,  but I'm nothing compared to Big. He's the greatest big brother that ever lived.

Lil' is a tough one. She's a demanding little bugger and he takes it and he takes it. She makes him get her blankie. She makes him get her cookies. She makes him watch baby shows on t.v.. She makes him do her makeup and she likes for him to wash her hair. Poor fella. He's gonna be a great beautician someday.

Tonight she made him eat her supper. I told her she couldn't get up until she ate all of it so she sat there for a while and then came up with a brilliant little plan. This is what she looked like...

Her plan was simple. It took some timing and some persuasion but if she could get it all just right, it might work. Convince Big to eat all her supper and swear him to secrecy! Ha! Mama would never be the wiser.

There was only 1 problem. She was so proud of herself for coming up with the plan and the execution of it, she had to brag about it. And that cost her dearly. Her whole plan fell like a house of cards.

Never Look the Same

Welp.

IT finally happened.

And now...

he'll never look the same.

The Beastly Wagon

My Mama's red station wagon was the bomb. This was exactly it. Except it was fire engine red.

With burn-your-thighs red seats.

We had this car back when it was ok to leave your kids in the car while you ran in somewhere. So me and brother spent a lot of time in this beast. A lot. And we fought like hell in there too. We'd have serious kick fights in the backseat while Mom was in the grocery store and I'd flip him over the seat so fast that he'd get a little carpet burn on his cheek from the carpet in the back-back. I can remember some specifics about the interior too. One was that you could chew on the corner of the front head rest and you could never get enough of it. It felt good. Not sure why. It just did. Another was you could write your name in the roof of the car with your finger and it would stay there until your brother ran his thumb across it. We did that so much that finally we had to safety pin the material back into the squishy foam because it sort of became a driving hazard. I can remember many, many trips where the lull of the "ticka-ticka" sound the engine made would put me right to sleep.

This car smelled like poo and in the dead heat of a SC summer, a red car was anything but cool. And when you're a tween, a red beat up station wagon with the roof hanging on your head was for sure, anything but cool. But if I had a dream tonight where I was in a parade going down a road of childhood memories, my float would be that red station wagon.

Daddy is mad at me about my car. He says its a piece. It's not a piece. I have 2 kids, 2 dogs and a cat who all like to drop things and slobber on windows. I live at the beach and in the summertime, there's gonna be a lot of sand in my car. Don't tell anyone else this, but I eat and secretly love fast food and I eat a ton of that in there and constantly find McDonald's french fries between my seats  that are 2 months old but still look just as good as new.

So what if Pepper stinks. So what if she goes "ticka-ticka" too. She's got a job to do and she does it well. Just like Betsy the beastly Wagon did.

All That Mattered

Try to imagine, if you will, Blanche without Rose. Shaggy without Scooby. Tubbs without Crocket. Impossible, right? That's how hard it is to imagine Daddy without Dr. J.

Dr. J. is Daddy's best friend. His oldest friend. The friend that crosses over the line. The friend that stops being a friend and becomes a part of your family. Yea, he's that guy.

During the week, sometimes they reminded of me of two 7 year old boys, wrestling and punching and breaking things. Then at another point, they seemed like two 80 year old women. Giggling over pictures and videos of the kids on the screened porch while drinking "manmosas." Whatever those are.

They did a lot together. They did nothing together. They were together. That's all that mattered.

She's Real, Real Good

Yesterday was a rough one with Lil'. We went back and forth all day and by bedtime last night, I had had enough. She's really into talking sassy and back-talking me right now- these are 2 things I really can't stand. Unlucky for me, she's gotten really good at it.

After fighting her through a bath, going back and forth over tooth brushing, and dealing with a brutal hair brush session, she lost her marbles when it came to getting on her pajamas. She just didn't want to do it. She wasn't having it and she decided to let me know all about it in a shrieking voice and with a twisting neck. So. I. Popped. Her. One time. On the leg.

And.

She.

Stopped.

Immediately.

Afterwards, we made up. We hugged. I explained. She understood. We read books. We said prayers. I shut the door. After 5 minutes, I went in to put some clothes away. Here's how that went...

Me: "Lil' I'm just putting some clothes away. I'll be out in just a minute."
Lil': "Are you sho?"
Me: "Yes, I'm sure."
Lil': "Are you comin in here to say sorry to me?"
Me: " Sorry for what, Lil?"
Lil': "Fo spanking my hiney?"

She's good. She's real, real good.

My Solid Ground

I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I've got some good friends. They come in all different shapes and sizes and relationships but - they come. They always come. They come in the shape of advice or help. They come in the shape of laughter or tears. They come no matter what. They always come.

When all you can hear is a "Bac-bac, cluck-cluck, coochie-coo-coo" followed by a "Waaa-waaa-waddle-waddle, fu-man, choo", you know its a good conversation with some great importance and depth.

I love all my girls and your craziness or your not so-craziness. Your helpful hand or your quick temper. I love you when you don't make any sense at all or when what you say is the smartest, quickest, soundest advice ever.

We all need solid ground to stand on. So many times over and over, you are my solid ground.